Embarrassing much?

For this Thanksgiving I went home with my roommate, Salina.  The food was delicious.  Puerto Ricans can COOK!!!

Her mom took us out to get our nails manicured.... and that's how I got embarrassed.  Ever since I was little I have been biting my nails.  I think about it sometimes but most of the time I don't even notice that I do it.  My mom, aunts, friends, etc, they all tell me to stop, but seriously, it is one hard habit to kick!

Anyway, as I surrendered my hands over to the little old Asian lady who was doing my nails, I was nervous because I didn't know what she would say.  As she started to file them and started cutting my cuticles, I swear she was cursing in whatever language she was speaking because her voice rose and she gestured to my nails and both of the workers beside her glanced over at my hands. AAAAHHHHH so embarrassing. I didn't know what to do except laugh.  Hopefully that will be a moment in time where I last think about biting my nails..... maybe not. lol.

And the winner is......

Well, I tried Tumblr.... and I couldn't even figure out how to post anything!  Blogspot is much more appealing for me... I just wish people realized that even though they don't have a blog, they can still comment.  It helps me to know that whatever I say means something to them, or that someone is hearing what I say or like what I say. 

I shall continue to post from here, and even though I say it all the time, I hope to post more often... So lend a hand, PEOPLE!!!  Let me know you are listening!!

Thank you much :)

Blogspot v. Tumblr

So.... What should I do? I don't know if anyone ever reads my blog anymore... I don't get a lot of comments...

I have several friends who read and use tumblr.... so... should I switch?  Is tumblr as awesome as blogspot? Who knows?? A FIGHT TO THE DEATH I SAY!!!

Am I being ridiculous? Or just female? Don't you dare say it's the same

I have been debating for awhile now, whether or not to get some angled bangs cut into my hair. I have been a little bored with my hair and kinda felt like I needed a change. So I finally decided to get my bangs cut.  Sorry Mom... :(

There is an awesome lady that I know... and she is pretty much one of the coolest cats I know.  She cuts hair around campus, and when I got my hair trimmed a few weeks ago, she did it for me for $10.  (GIVE HER SOME BUSINESSS)

Anyway, late last night, she got in to the dorm and so I went to her room to get my bangs cut. I had so many freaking crazy butterflies going all up, in, and around my innards. I hadn't cut my bangs for... a realllyyy long time. I was really scared that I would hate it and that I would cry and want to shave it all off.

And... that kinda did happen.  When she cut them, it was like... a shock. I practically ran out of the room crying. Not because she did a terrible job cutting them, it was because I thought they were to short, that they laid funny, that it didn't look good with my hair, etc, etc. 

So, I got to my room (still bawling my eyes out because that's what I do when I think my hair is ruined), and I stood in the bathroom looking at my bangs and trying to hide them in the rest of my hair with a twist braid. EVERYTIME I GET MY HAIR CUT, I cry. How pathetic?? I think I have a problem... idk... but after i put my hair up, I just prayed, "Jesus, please let me wake up tomorrow and like my hair.  I want to like it, but I HATE IT right now... maybe I'm overreacting... help me not to..."

Then, I got up this morning and jumped in the shower to start getting ready for class, and when I got out, blow-dried my hair, and kinda brushed it through.... guess what??? I loved it :) I love it. See?? God even answers the super teeny tiny prayers that sometimes sounds a little ridiculous :)

I'll post a picture of my hair later!!

Familiar

       I remember, a few weeks ago, on a Saturday or Sunday night after I came home from work early, everyone was gone to Grandma's house, or church, or something, and I was home alone.  So I went around the kitchen and fixed me a small dinner, then I sat down at our kitchen table and started to eat it.  I reached into the napkin basket in the center of the table and pulled out a Taco Bell napkin.  It just made me smile.  Those kinds of things make me smile because it's what makes a house, a home.  Different fast food napkins in the napkin basket, or the lawn chair that is sitting, out of place, right inside the back porch door.  The different pieces of furniture that Grandpa made special for my mom...  all the dozens of coasters sitting on all the wooden furniture so there is no way we can get any marks on them by sitting drinks right on the tables... (which we accidentally do sometimes anyway, but Mom is quick to point us to the nearest coaster available)  The little creaks in the wood floors here and there that remind me when Grandpa, my uncle's Steve and Larry struggled to get the boards to go together in that one spot, and all the funny faces they were making...  

         The whole reason for our existence... Life.  We come, and create a home.  We get comfortable in it, but worry so much about perfecting it that we forget to be thankful for everything... What about the millions of families everywhere in the world that don't have to worry about getting water stains on their wood furniture, or worry about whether the lawn furniture is inside the house, or hear the creakiness of their wood floors... because they don't have any of that? They can't afford any of it, they don't have room for any of it.  

         So... stop and think.  Look around your house or where ever you are sitting, and appreciate the little things you see that make your house yours.  Tell me about them! I wanna know what your house feels like, what it looks like.  No one cares about the dirt. You don't have to live on dirt floors.  No one cares that there is McDonald's bags on the counter... Some don't know what a McDonald's is...  I want to know the stuff that makes your home, YOURS. :)

Reunion

          17 years ago, when I was 3 years old, my sister and I were taken out of our home and put into foster care.  The circumstances of it all was a bit messy.  When the system found us a good foster home (after a few tries), we started to have visits with our parents.  After only a few weeks, they both ended up going to jail.  One, only several days, the other, received several years.  
          Then things started looking up for us.  Someone wanted to adopt my sister and I.  Our next door neighbors actually.  They had been praying and praying, and had practically everyone they knew, praying for two little girls to adopt.  And there we were :)  So when I was in first grade, I was adopted along with my sister.  Getting adopted along with siblings is a rare occasion in adoption cases because often, parents only want one at a time, so the brothers and sisters get split up, never to see each other again.


          So, here we are 17 years later.  I have 3 months till I turn 20.  Am I excited??? YESSS!!!  But I also have another story to tell....




          Winter break of this last year....  I did alot of sitting around the house.  I didn't have a car, and most of my friends had already gone back to school (my school had given us 5 WEEKS off for break)... Hey, did ya think I minded?? Nope.  Anyway, so most of the stuff I did involved drawing, playing on my computer, and watching a ridiculous amount of t.v.. But then, in the mention of one phrase, one little tidbit of information, my life took a turn...

          But first, a little background information, my sister, who most of you know, Kerri, is actually not my full blooded sister.  She is only my half, but I would tell anyone in an instant that it doesn't matter in the least.  We share the same biological mother, but not the same father.  When we were going through all the court stuff years ago, a blood test proved it. Ok, that is all, now back to the story.

          So, one day, my sister comes home after a day with hanging out with my Aunt Michelle.  She comes over to me and says, 
   "Kelli, do you know what Michelle told me today??"
   "No... what did she say?"  I replied.
   "She says she thinks Scott has a Facebook!"

          Ok, another background info stop.  My biological father's name is Scott.  My aunt Michelle used to go to school with him, and her husband actually worked with him when we were still living with him and our mother. Ok I'm done.. for now... ;)


   I just stare at her... then I roll my eyes,
   "Nu huh. She did not."
   "Kelli! Yeah she did!" Kerri looked annoyed that I thought she was lying... haha.
   "Ok fine. Then I'm looking him up."  So I did.  Nope. There was no Scott on facebook that even resembled my father.  
           Background:  When all the adoption stuff was going on, Kerri and I had a social worker.  She made us each something called a "Life Book".  This was a big thick photo album filled with tons of photos of our foster family that we grew to love very quickly, and our now, mom and dad, Tracy and Cathy.  It also included about ten or so pictures of our mother and mine included a few of Scott.  So when I say none of them resembled Scott, it's because I had pictures to look at, not because my memory was so vivid. Go read!
           After I got done checking Facebook, I pretty much went "Oh well".  But only so Kerri would think I didn't really care or that I wasn't going to look anymore.  HA! Yeah right.

           That night, I stayed up practically all night searching FB up and down, searching his name over and over again, and even threw in his brother's name, which my aunt Michelle had also gone to school with, but I didn't know what he looked like so that didn't help much.  Then...... I remembered something.... good ol' Myspace :)))  Yeah, you know you had one.  Anyway, I decided to search there.  BINGOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!   My hands were shaking as I held my little ipod touch and was scrolling down the page.  My eyes spotted one of the profile pictures.  And if there is one thing I'm good at, it is knowing faces. (Part of being an artist probably).  I clicked on it and started going through the pictures. There were only like, 3.  One of them was a pretty good clear one.  I wasn't positive it was him, so I ran and grabbed my Life Book, opened it to the one clear photo I had.... His mugshot... yeah....  ANYWAY.  So, I did the smart and scientific thing any logical person with the slightest ability to see anything at all, and started to compare the bone structure from each picture, the shape of the nose, the tilt of the ears, size of the mouth... it was.. a match.  I. Flipped. Out.  I had found my biological father. and it had taken less than 12 hours.

          Long story short, I did some googling found some names that were associated with his on a "reunion.com" website, and ended up finding my biological grandfather's work phone number, and I called it.  He said he remembered me, and gave me another number to call.  It was Laurie, Scott's girlfriend.  I called her and she told me that they had just broken up, but that she would have him contact me when she saw him next.  She really sweet and handled the shock pretty well, because when I introduced myself with my real name, she kinda gasped, and said that Scott had told her about me....  then, that night when I was watching t.v.. Laurie called me back...  and I found out, I have two older brothers!!!! But that is another story.  Ok, so... I didn't get a call from Scott while I was still on winter break.  But about 2 weeks or so back into college life, I did.  Scott's brother, who I mentioned earlier, actually found me and started texting me back and forth and he was the one who told Scott that I had found him and wanted to make contact or whatever.  So...... we did. We texted, we talked on the phone, we skyped once... It was pretty cool....




         The reason for this story is that.... in about 2 hours or so, I am going to be meeting my biological father, in person, for the first time in over 17 years.  I am nervous as a freaking....... um.... whatever is the most nervous thing ever.  Lindsey Rich is going with me to meet him. She is so awesome to help me with this. :))  

So if anyone reads this, PLEASE!! Take time to comment, ask ANY question, or just say a little prayer for me today:)))  Thanks guys!!! <3
         
   

Sad Face

I miss bloggingggggg :((((  But my schedule is so ridiculously hectic, that there is absolutely NO time to write.... All I can see is Skyline, and MATH!!! BLUCKKKK!!!

But I promise, when school gets closer, I'll be writing more!!! No worries :)